Somewhere in chapter 18

I was spinning in
circles, unable to eat, unable to sleep even, since Clem’s disappearance. Once
the sadness had worn off, anger took its place, followed by a seemingly
depthless depression and finally hysterical paranoia combined with a desperate
need to sort this all out. How dare he just leave like that when everything was
just beginning to make sense? How dare he bail out on me? I shoved my head through
the hole and into Rose’s apartment, grabbed the telephone from her desk and
pulled it back into my room and sat in the middle of the floor. I took a deep
breath and dialled Clem’s number, my finger shaking at the thought of dialling
into some kind of nothingness, wherever he was. It was making me sweat. I had
visions of cables disappearing through dusty holes behind walls, down inside
toilet bowls, down throats, into bleeding wounds, into ... God alone knows
where. I shook my head, shooing away these ghastly scenes.
I
dialled, it rang. Shockingly, he answered after three rings, the unlikely sound
of his voice booming from the receiver forced me to pull it away from my ear
and stare at it with scepticism.
The
conversation went something, but not exactly, like this:
I
began by shouting, “Clem, you moron! Where are you? What’s going on?”
“What!?”
he yelled back. There was a lot of background noise, people talking, shouting,
music. “Who’s that?”
“Who’s
tha ... it’s me! Henri! Henri Merle! Now
listen, tell me where you are and I will come and get you. It sounds like you
are in a deal of trouble.”
“What? Hold
on a minute, I can’t hear you. Maurice?” he yelled, before speaking to someone else
in the background for what felt like an age. Eventually the music dropped and
his voice came back again, talking at a more normal volume, “Ok, right-o. Who’s
that?”
“Clem
it’s me, Henri. I miss you.”
“Henri?”
“Yes!
I have so many things I want to talk to you about Clem, things that are
happening, things we never got around to saying, I still really, really need
your help. I think I am beginning to spin out of control Clem, I am
dying and confused and I don’t know what is real anymore. I don’t know if I am
writing things that happen or if I am writing things that happened or even if
perhaps these are my own ideas after all. I have some
conclusions that I want to share with you. I’ve made notes. If you ...” I stopped
as he interrupted.
“Wait.
Henri who?” he asked just as the music went back to its original
volume and someone began singing along, revoltingly out of tune. “Hello?”
he shouted.
“Clem!”
I yelled.
“I’m
hanging up now,” he screamed, “can’t hear a damn thing in
here.” Crack! Silence.
This entry was posted on Monday, February 8, 2010 , 12:30 AM and features a short extract from "Pomponne". You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

February 8, 2010 2:08 PM
Unexpectedly heavy.
It makes me think "ouch" whilst being completely speechless.
February 8, 2010 11:02 PM
For some reason this conversation made me think of just about every exchange I've had with my inner muse. I call, she answers, nonchalantly, I ask where she's been, in a threatened, abandoned kind of way...and she hangs up after realizing she doesn't know me and doesn't care to.
Great writing, Jonas :)
February 8, 2010 11:08 PM
De'May, Phoenix ... thank you. It was a slightly random post, I must admit, so thanks for reading.
February 9, 2010 1:30 AM
i'm new to your world ... enjoying your writings and find your testosterone refreshing. er, um ... it's just that all the other bloggers i've bookmarked are female. i'll be back!
February 10, 2010 4:28 AM
Ohhhh! Rejection! a pesky little thing, not to mention co-dependency
February 11, 2010 1:41 AM
Erin - I'm glad to hear all that again!
Kay - Isn't it just?